Meat is Murder, Sweet Delicious Murder.

I have always been a lover of food. I haven't met too many normal foods I didn't like. I say normal foods, because these days we are all growing more and more aware of those strange foods, thanks to people like Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmerman. No thanks, not interested in a chicken embryo hard cooked inside of an egg or still beating snake hearts. While I'm on that note, fuck Andrew Zimmerman- that guy is annoying.



Being a food lover, I was always a lover of meat. Insert dick joke here. Steak night was always my favorite night at the Irvin residence. Second favorite had to be pulled BBQ pork. Later in life my Mother and I learned about the beauty of beef short ribs. This year, I fell in love with Vietnamese Pho soup. We didn't eat it all the time, but beef and pork was a weekly norm on our family menus.

This week, I am cleaning out my system and cutting out the beef and pork. Actually, I am trying to cut out all high calorie, high fat, wonderful tasting foods from my diet. Hold on, I need some tissues. I'm trying on this hat, and perhaps I will buy the whole outfit later. Maybe I will return it all and just eat what I want.

The older I get, the more aware I am becoming of how fragile my body is. I must try different things to make me harder, better, faster, stronger. Wish me luck!

By the way- since I cook for other people, I am not giving up my responsibility of tasting the food I cook, no matter what it is. I'm also not joining Peta or Morrissey. Moz, I love you, but Peta is fuggin' nutz! Gimme dat Chicken Breast!

Specials for the Week, 2/10

Here are the specials dishes from my restaurant this week, Wednesday-Friday.

For the App,
Scallop and Cauliflower Au Gratin in a Ricotta Cream Sauce with Thin Breadsticks.

Method: Make a simple cream sauce and add in Ricotta cheese. Blanch cauliflower, and saute chopped scallops. Mix all together in cream sauce and put in cast iron crock, bake with buttered bread crumbs. Shit, this is making me hungry.

Thoughts: The dish looked good, and one of our regulars raved over it. Simple ingredients to make a rich creamy appetizer. A good winter dish and great pairing of flavors.

For the Fish,

Sea Bass Schnitzel with Parsley Spaetzle, Sauteed Spinach and Peppers, and a Horseradish Cream Sauce

Method: Slice portioned Sea Bass into two even portions, lightly pound into thin pieces, and bread with Panko. Deep fry till golden brown, and finish fish cookery in oven. Saute speatzle in butter, toss with parsley. Saute Spinach and peppers in hot oil till done. For sauce, reduce white wine, add heavy cream and raw grated horseradish. Season, to taste, and thicken as needed.

Thoughts: This dish plated really well and I sold a shit load. It was also an easy preparation. The sauce was really tasty, and overall, the play on classic German dishes was fun and worked!


And, the Meat!
Crispy Fried Veal Strips, with Gorgonzola Mac N Cheese, and Grilled Asparagus

Method: Cook off elbow macaroni, and make a basic cream sauce. Add Gorgonzola to the cream sauce and mix with mac. Pound out veal cutlets very thin and julienne the raw meat. Toss with seasoned flour, and deep fry. Coat asparagus with olive oil, and season with S&P. Grill till done. You can also blanch them first and reserve if needed.

Thoughts: This was another good looking plate. I made an X, so to speak, with a diagonal portion of mac 'n cheese on top of a row of asparagus. The dish would've plated well in a bowl also, but we are cheap bastards with shitty plates! Gorgonzola cream sauce makes me cream in my panties.

Cocktail Hour at Orsay

This was a review I wrote for Whacksonville, another blog. It was one of my first attempts at sarcastic writing, to conform to the blog. Not my really my style, but nevertheless fun!

If you had enough weeknights sitting at home watching Frasier repeats, and drinking Cisco’s and Hurricane’s, then take a trip to Orsay on Park. Usually, a visit to Orsay calls for a birthday, straight-A report card (you go, honor roll!), or promotion from shit sweeper to button pusher. But, if your appetite is peckish, and your thirst for cocktails is mammoth, head out to Orsay’s cocktail hour (that’s fancy happy hour for all y’all mouth breathers).

Cover all your tattoos, brush that greasy hair, pick off them fleas, and put some deodorant on for this one. Don’t wear your dirty old dungarees either; the clientele are the business crowd (you know, those types). But they mind their own business, keeping busy discussing the latest issue of Weekly World News.

The quiet crowd, awesome décor and music (that older people fuck to) all contribute to the lounges really enjoyable environment. You can sit at a table like your eating a full meal or you and all your gurls can sit outside and smoke and wine and whine. There are also big comfy lounge chairs- but hold on TIGHT if you’re drinking the red wine. For serious people, these are beige sofas now.

Orsay offers a list of 14 signature cocktails. My party and I sampled the French Pear Martini, Ginger Basil Mojito, and Cucumber Lemon Zest Martini. The French Pear is quite alluring from its description, and really delivers. The drink is sweet and fizzy, but not overly sweet like those T.G.I.F. cocktails. The drink has house infused (done in-the restaurant) pear vodka. The pear vodka is among five other house infused liquors. I heard they do (or did once?) bacon infused vodka for a cocktail. I didn’t find it on the menu, but would love to try sometime.

The Ginger Basil is a good play on your common Mojito. Basil instead of mint with a ginger infused rum. The lime is still there! The spicy ginger candy like thing at the bottom of the drink is a happy ending. It’s also on a sword pick. The Cuke Lemon Party Martini is a smooth and relaxing treat (indeed!). Start your night=2 0out with the fun cocktails, and end with this one.

The drink menu really proves that they are putting as much effort into their drink making, as they are putting into their food menu. They also offer their regular wine and beer listings half off.

The low priced cocktail hour menu is not to be missed, with offerings you’d normally be afraid to try (those French ones, maybe?). Now you can try items such as the Plat de Fromage with prices ranging from $5-$13.

Most of the cocktail hour menu items are taken from their appetizer menu. The cheese plate was my favorite ordering of the night. We sampled three imported cheeses, for $12. The plate includes a tower of crostinis, and various sweet accompaniments, which include: sweet pecans, sliced apples, apricots, and truffled honey. The honey was a surprisingly amazing treat. We couldn’t get enough as we found whatever table snacks to dip into it when the cheese and bread was over. Marinated olives? NO. Marcona Almonds? YES!

At $5, I had to sample the pate du jour (that’s the pate of the day). For all y’all that aren’t from the old country, pate is really just like eating the inside of a sausage. Delicious! Today’s sampling was a pork shoulder and duck liver, and pear pate. The dish is served with sliced baguette (baked in house, of course) crostini, Dijon mustard (probably house made, I think every little thing is) and tart, yet fun little cornichon pickles.

You can’t miss the smaller quantities of the never disappointing fresh oysters. Great with the booze. You can also eat a full meal from the dinner menu if your stomachs really talking. Click on the website for full menu.

Orsay is really one of my favorite eateries in Whacksonville (and probably one of the few ‘top 25 best of’ worth a good goddamn). The staff super sweet, talented, professional and attentive. What other local restaurant is someone going to clean up the crumbs you made on your table before your full fatter ass orders dessert? Here’s a fun game to play: chug your bottled house tap water and see how long it takes for your server to refill. I never saw the bottom of that glass.

I close with this: Itchy and Scratchy Land open for business! My children need wine! Get your Asses over to Orsay. 4-7. Tues-Sat.

Keep your foot on the pedal Jax Beach bros and brahs- Salt Life Food Shack, coming your way 2009? Just what our city needs, more bacon cheeseburger fish tacos and philly cheesesteaks with ranch to dumb down our local cuisine even more!